Fractured Families

So much going on in this pea sized little head of mine the last several days. Woke up this morning thinking about families and the stuff that tears them apart and the hurt that goes on within them. And wondering why it has to happen and how it does happen. So as I sit here with my steaming bowl of minestrone (not homemade unfortunately ) and look out at the snow, I'll try to put some of my thoughts into words. I feel sorry for my children that they don't know the paternal side of their heritage. Sorry for the heartache that's caused them because admit it or not they are missing a huge part of who they are. Sometimes its easier to get angry then to acknowledge the pain. I think about the show "The Waltons" or whatever the heck it was called and the love and closeness in that familly and wonder why can't life really be like that? Does it really exist or is it just something Hollywood made up.Why do families have to live so darn far apart. Not just other cities but other states...other countries..And why does it take a separation of that distance to realize how far apart we really are...not only physically but emotionally as well. I don't know what I would have done without my Mom near by. To have not had access to her wisdom, her love, her arms to hold me when I needed it. And yet it happens all the time. I think of parents who just give up on their kids. Who walk away and wonder where is their head at ? I know personally of a family who was having trouble with their son..He was adopted but that's neither here nor there. They started having trouble with the kid around the time of the birth of their first grandchild and when he turned 18 they sold everything...loaded up their biological son, daughter in law and granddaughter and moved away..telling him..you're not welcome to join us..And they complain about him to this day..first off Mom....you pushed him aside when your granddaughter was born and didn't have time for him anymore. Second of all Dad you were a freaking alcholic who couldn't be bothered with him coz that would have meant you couldn't spend most of your nights in a bar. And you pitted biological son against adopted son...and gee isn't that so hard to figure out coz I didn't even know the family when this was all happening and have only heard stories....and yet I figured it out. I have a low tolerance for stupid people...not stupid in IQ but stupid in the way they choose to live their lives. Ok...I really need to stop talking about them coz although the temp is down to 60 degrees its pretty hot where I'm sitting. Its so important to be close..to be able to be a part of your kids lives...your grandkids lives...It really bothered me when my son and his wife split but I have the privledge now of having a part in my grandkids lives. And because his kids are here now he's talking about changing MOS' and trying to get moved to Fort Drum so he can be closer to his kids...and I hope he's thinking to me too. Yes I made alot of mistakes raising my children...don't we all? But I hope that we have a love that will keep us close. Nicole is probably gonna yell at me now coz she says I'm to hard on myself but I made a lot of bad choices..Some I can change..most I can't and I have to live with the consequences of those choices. Parents...love your children and stay close to them...children...love your parents..they wiped the spit off your face and changed your diapers for a couple of years...the least you can do is return the favor. This wasn't for anybody in particular I swear...its was just something that's been rattling around in my head and heart and I needed to get it out..Blogging is good for that as long as those who read understand its a way for the blogger to vent and let off some steam.